By Boy Mike
Oh God, he’s back. Like the demented Tooth Fairy, the rabid Easter Bunny, or the grandiose Great Pumpkin, the Old Saint Nick of Nutcases is ready to tour again with his all new holiday comedy show from hell. But John Waters doesn’t need any enslaved reindeer or un-unionized elves, not even a non-binary Mrs. Claus. No sirree, he can spread his sticks-and-stones humor all by himself to the bad little boys and girls and thems who have been haughty and anything-but-nice all year. And wait ’til you see what’s inside his bag of Christmas-Evil presents! Celebrity blow up dolls! New yuletide diseases with booster shots that actually get you high! Kindergarten detention drag shows in Florida! Even gift certificates to the Dark Web for your parents! O come all ye faithful indeed! We’ll be docking around the Christmas tree, fisting the turkey with stuffing, and snowballing under the mistletoe. It’s a John Water’s Christmas and that’s a miracle!
I chatted with the demented one a few months back.
Boy Mike: Tell what you like best about coming to Seattle with your Christmas show?
John Waters: Seattle’s audience are always well dressed for me, they’re smart, they’re funny, they get the jokes. I always feel at home there. The show is about everything seems broken, including Christmas. It’s about despair and how to fix it. And I think it’s uplifting and despairing; people go back and forth every single day now. Nothing seems like it’s back to normal.
BOY: What is your favorite Christmas memory?
JW: Oh, god. You know, I think always with Divine it always used to be great at Christmas. He loved it. And he was very overly generous at Christmas. He would even steal things so he could make it look festive in his house. He was a Christmas fanatic. So I think Christmas with Divine would be something that was always veryspecial. And I still have a cashmere blanket that he gave me years ago that’s been fixed many times through the years. He maybe even stole it, I don’t know, but it’s great. And I think of Divine every time I snuggle up on Christmas Eve.
BOY: What was your favorite childhood toy that you got for Christmas?
JW: Well, I used to play junkyard all the time. So I would ask my parents for little toy trucks and cars, and then I’d smash them with a hammer and say there’s been a terrible accident. And so pretended that I ran a junkyard that was around a tree stub, a tree stump, and that’s how I played. So any new car I could wreck would be my favorite new present.(Big Laugh)
BOY: Do you think your comedy still has shock value?
JW: Yes, but in a good way. I think it’s easy to be shocking, I mean, it’s usually the stuff I don’t like; John Waters’ movies I don’t like because they’re just gross, it’s just trying too hard. It’s hard to be shocking and make people laugh and change everything for some things. And that’s what I’ve always hoped to do. That’s when I, when used the word shocking I use it for something positive.
BOY: What would you like Santa to stuff in your Christmas stocking this year?
JW: Oh, let’s see…. any Jeff Stryker memorabilia or any new weird novelizations and movies, because I collect them. Those would be two presents I would like. I don’t need anything, really, so just the originality of what somebody finds, it’s not how much it costs at all. Presents that cost a lot of money are sort of in bad taste, I think.
BOY: Are you working on any new projects movie wise?
JW: Yeah, well, Liarmouth was, I don’t know if you’ve read, it was an option for a Hollywood company for me to write the screenplay and make the movie. So, we’ll see.
BOY: Would that be your next upcoming project if that project comes through?
JW: Well, it’s the only one I can talk about. I’ve got a lot of projects with irons in the fire, but you never talk about something before it happens, it’s like trying to get pregnant, it’s a curse. Not that I’ve ever tried to get pregnant. (Big Laugh)
BOY: Out of all of your movies which one do you think is your crowning achievement or your very favorite?
JW: My favorite is Serial Mom, I think it is the best movie is I’ve ever made was Female Trouble. I mean, I still don’t know, I guess Mondo Trasho though it’s too long. It was made at a time when theAndy Warhol filmswere around and everything, so being long was good. You know, I like them all pretty much the same. They are the same to me. Some of them were more commercial than others, but they were never really written to be, they just turned out to be.
BOY: What do you think of Madonna?
JW: I don’t think a lot, nothing good or bad, you know, I’m fine, good for her, – I like
Debbie Harry better.
BOY: The last question would be what is your New Years’ resolution?
JW: I’ve never made a New Years’ resolution in my life. I don’t know, I just don’t make them. If I’m going to make resolutions, I don’t need a day to do them. I just try to make them and live up to them. My life is very structured and very disciplined as it is. I don’t need another rule.
A John Waters Christmas: Let’s Blow it Up is playing Seattle’s Neptune Theatre on Saturday, December 2nd @ 8pm for tix click HERE.
