Once again, John Waters is touring the country on his slippery sled of sewage with his comedy bag of
tricks, handing out filthy sticks and stones to bad little non-binary boys and girls, and everyone in
between and beyond. Ninety minutes of Christmas jeer and holiday beatings! Go ahead, teabag that tree
with your own balls and then knock it over on yourself on purpose! Scream, drag queens and kings,
scream! Yes! We’re all getting cha-cha heels this year! Postage-due Christmas cards, too. We want gift-
wrapped get-out-of-jail holiday coupons! Mistle-toejam! As Dawn Davenport would say, “We asked
and we’d better get!” Happy hole-iday! Merry Diss-mas! We’re the gift that keeps on desperate living.
It’s a John Waters Christmas, and you’d better watch out!
I recently chatted with Waters by phone, and here are the highlights:
On the Seattle Audience:
Seattle’s audience is always well-dressed for me; they’re smart, they’re funny, they get the jokes. I always feel at home there.
On This Year’s Show:
So much happens in a year, and people come every year because they don’t want to hear last year’s show. I think people pay money, so I gotta come up with something new. I’m always making notes all year. I just finished writing it. Now I just have to memorize [70 minutes of] it.
Finally, a Christmas Song:
[It is in the tune of “Jingle Bells.”] Which has been a giant hit forever. But every time it comes on the radio, that’s why I wanted to do it—and it even shows on the record. Please don’t play this record.
Shock Value:
I think it’s easy to be shocking, but it’s usually the stuff I don’t like. John Waters’ movies that I don’t like are just gross—they’re trying too hard. It’s hard to be shocking and make people laugh, while changing things for the better. And that’s what I’ve always hoped to do. When I use the word “shocking,” I use it for something positive.
His Christmas Plans:
I’m having Christmas dinner for my entire family this year. I love it. We always love it. We love and hate a lot of things, especially if you make noise. Yes, they’ve accepted you and everything you do. They don’t need you yelling out; got it?
On His Longevity:
I’ve been doing this for 50 years. I’ve been going to colleges—that’s where it all started. But we’re in the magnet now, and I’ve been doing this tour for years and years. You see my audience? They’re all ages. I mean, the ones who come now weren’t even born when I made my last movie. Exactly. That’s great—there’s a new generation every couple of years.
How He Sees Himself:
I have a painting at home—on one side it says “Gore Vidal” and on the other side, it says “Paul Lynde.” I figure somewhere in the middle. I believe you should dress yourself—your fashion is how you present yourself. It’s your armor, your sense of humor, your politics. And on airplanes, that makes me insane.
See A John Waters Christmas at The Neptune Theatre at 8pm on Tues, December 3rd and Wednesday, December 4th go to stgpresents.org for tickets.
Plus
See A John Waters Christmas at Portland’s Aladden Theatre at 8pm on Thurs, December 5th and Fri, December 6th go to bandsintown.com for tickets.
