Name: Daphne Bertha Storm (aka…Bill Sullivan)
Location: Eugene, OR
How has your understanding of gender evolved over time, and what experiences have influenced that journey?
Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s in a small conservative town, the basic teachings were that gender being interchangeable with male/female (or sex). Sexual activity, or the birds and the bees, wasn’t a strong topic with many people and in school, they only dedicated a few weeks in health class, taught by the gym teacher. So, until I came out in 1980, I wasn’t aware of any such thing as multiple genders, let alone sexualities. Getting to know the community and being involved in several local organizations over the years have vastly opened my learning and knowledge of the vast gender spectrum as well as various sexualities in life. There is still a lot to learn, no one has all the answers for those questioning, but the knowledge is ever evolving and growing strong.
In your work or leadership role, how do you create space for people of identities to feel seen and valued?
Anytime you are in a position where the community looks up to you for guidance and direction, you MUST be open and accepting of things being unique, especially if different from what you have ever been exposed to. Whether a manager, supervisor, producer, director, event host, you must be aware that you are looked upon to be inclusive and fair. Individuals need to be acknowledged, celebrated and embraced. You should make it known that all are welcome, all are included. Humans need to be shown that they are valued and needed, for whatever purpose they are here for.
What do you wish more people understood about the distinction between gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation?
What I wish and reality are unfortunately two separate items. What I wish people would do is step back a bit, take a deep breath and open their minds to possibilities beyond their strict way of thinking. Not everything is strictly THIS or THAT. There is so much in between and surrounding those ways of thinking. We have grown as a society to allow individuals to be just that, themselves. We should not be locked into a box of A, B or C anymore. Growing up I was taught that anything besides being a typical boy (sex), I would be shunned and sent to hell. I wanted a Barbie Dream House and an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas; I got Matchbox cars and a scooter. As I grew up, things changed, I started to open my way of thinking. I knew my sexuality at an early age but then the world started opening to new and amazing things as gender expression and identity. Again, a learning process but what a wonderful process. I wish those locked in the past could open their eyes. They might be surprised at all the amazing things and people that could see and get to know, to really expand their mind and enrich their lives. Does it hurt you for someone else to be themselves? No. Does it affect you living your life? No.
Can you share a time when you challenged traditional societal norms—either your own or someone else’s—and what the outcome was?
To challenge a societal norm must be strategic and very careful. Again, with this current state of the country, it can be dangerous if not done properly. To break the mold of gender assigned clothing for example. I have a few friends who do these daily, cis males in dresses and what most consider feminine attire, but they are careful in their planning and are such loving and wonderful people, it doesn’t seem to make the other side nervous or anxious (as they tend to do a lot). I tell people to be themselves, be true, but unfortunately, we still need to be cautious of surroundings and those that feel they have the right to challenge you even though your life has no effect on them. There was one time I was bold enough and used Halloween as a cover. My small conservative
hometown, I decided to do a very risqué drag costume and venture to the dive bar downtown with a friend. It definitely made an impact, the evening was successful as all had a great time. However, the next day, someone sabotaged the oil pan under my car, causing major damage on a road trip. So, I guess I played and paid. But you know, I would not go back and change a thing. I made a bold statement; people remembered and eventually came to respect me a little more. I lived my life.
How do intersectional identities (like race, class, disability, etc.) shape your experience and how others perceive you?
They don’t just shape an experience; they enhance your life. Having a wide variety of people in your life in all aspects of identities will certainly enrich your way of thinking, you’re learning, your daily living. If you surround yourself with life, it will give life in return. Accepting people for who they are will certainly reflect on you as a person. I believe in the old Golden Rule: Treat others as you expect them to treat you.
What gives you hope or momentum in the current fight for inclusion, especially regarding gender?
With the current state of affairs, having hope in the smallest of steps has to be one of the hardest things to do. You have to cling to that glimmer and somehow make it grow. Having been fighting to protections and preserving rights for the last almost 5 decades keeps me going. It gives me purpose. With my first grandchild on the way this year, I must hold on to that hope that the world will evolve and get better. It has to. I have to believe.
What advice would you give to young people who are exploring or questioning their identities today?
I would definitely let them know to explore! Do their research, ask questions, and confide in close friends if they are able. There are so many valid resources out there. There is such a broad spectrum of identities that they may not fit into this box or that box, they might be a combination of a few! Look into themselves, go with their feelings and instincts.
Do you ever prioritize one part of your identity over another, and if so, how?
Not really. I have tried to make sure there is a good balance of who I am, what I am and who I desire to be. Yes, I am a cis male, I am a gay cis male, I am a gay cis male drag entertainer; These all can be individual but they all should be balanced. I guess fighting to preserve rights and protections for the LGBTQ+ communities would push that part of me a bit higher. It’s been such a constant battle, it feels like part of my day-to-day life anymore.
What support would be the most valuable that allies can do to help regarding inclusion and equality?
Allies should make sure they are visible and available for support; for anything that is needed, any inclusion they can offer, any public lifting up and acknowledging the community as existing and important. It is vital that it’s not just words to placate, but action to back up said words. That truly shows they are there as a trusted ally.
How can our community come together as a whole, given how diverse we are?
LGBTQ+ communities have had a history of being divisive from time to time, I have noticed this happens when there is no “home” bar, or safe space as a community center. The community becomes fractured and can splinter off. Leaders in the community can help by being there to remind others of what value a connected community can accomplish. Far too often, members of the community will feel defeated and left to their own defenses. They should be reminded of what a true community is and that everyone is part of the family, regardless of where they came from. Special events, social gatherings, dances, potlucks; these are all tried and true things that can be done to help come together.
