The Out Singer Confronts His Rage and Finds Redemption Through Music
By Brian Hug
This month, out singer-songwriter Devon Michael Sedrick unveils his highly anticipated debut album, Fifty One Fifty, a raw and fearless journey written and produced entirely by Sedrick himself. Blending rock, R&B, and global percussive influences, the record takes its name from California’s “5150” code, the statute that authorizes a 72-hour psychiatric hold for individuals deemed a danger to themselves or others. True to its title, Fifty One Fifty dives unflinchingly into the darker corners of the human psyche (rage, shame, dishonesty, and self-hate) before emerging into a place of self-acceptance, empowerment, and love.
Speaking from his sailboat home in Marina del Rey, Sedrick shares the personal revelations that shaped the album.
The album title, Fifty One Fifty, is such a powerful metaphor. Can you talk more about what it meant for you to “fifty-one-fifty” yourself and how that turning point shaped the music?
Devon Michael Sedrick: “Fifty One Fiftying” myself was pretty much putting myself in time out. We’re all human, but I had been engaging in some behavior that was hurting others and myself emotionally, and I was finally ready to put an end to it, and really face myself. The entire album is me giving myself the ability to speak and tell the truth. It was an opportunity to let all of the sides of myself speak, the angry parts, the sad parts, the crazy parts. They all needed a chance to be heard.
You grew up in a loud, mixed-race Mormon household as the eldest of six. How did that environment of chaos, music, and faith shape both your struggles and your artistry?
DMS:I think the context of the music is so much about my struggle with myself. It’s about me finding a way to accept and value all the parts of myself. There is a very strict way of being in the Mormon church that didn’t really fit with my human experience. I am thankful for my upbringing and having to fight for my identity, because it really helped me know myself on a deep and unshakeable level, and it also ended up giving me a fun, dark, spicy edge that I think comes out in all of my art.
How do those pivotal experiences echo throughout the songs on Fifty One Fifty?
DMS:The single, ‘Excited,’ is about my coming out as gay. When I was a kid I used to stay up all night praying and praying that I wouldn’t be gay anymore, and every day I would wake up still gay. I thought I was doing it wrong, and part of me actually thought that I might just be inherently evil or bad. The song ‘Excited’ is kind of a naughty wink at that. Maybe other people do perceive me as “evil”, but maybe you should come along and see how fun, inspiring, sensational and lovely this “evil” life can be. There’s definitely easter eggs of this theme throughout the entire album especially in ‘Fifty One Fifty’, ‘Skin n’ Bones’, ‘Mean’ and ‘Delicious’.
Your breakout single “You Suck” is cathartic but also playful. Was it important to you to balance the heavy themes of rage, shame, and self-hate with humor and lightness?
DMS:Life can feel so heavy sometimes, and it is heavy, but the more humor that we can insert into our lives, the easier it is to deal with. We’re all just human and we need to cut each other and ourselves some slack. We have to laugh about everything and not take things too seriously. Plus humor can be such an antidote to shame. There’s an acceptance of reality in humor, and I think acceptance is really what we need in order to grow and evolve.
Which track feels most personal to you?
DMS:That’s such a hard question! I think all of the songs are really personal, because they are all different aspects of myself. If I had to pick right now, I would say ‘Skin n Bones’, because that song is really about accepting myself no matter what anyone else thinks. It’s about taking ownership of my body and my choices, and living fully with the limited time that we have. It’s our throne, our skin n’ bones, so sit inside of yourself and start acting like the ruler of your life that you are.
You’ve said that water is your creative sanctuary, that you sing your best ideas while surfing. How does living on a sailboat in Marina del Rey influence your songwriting and sound?
DMS:I have a tendency to be a little anxious sometimes, so anywhere that I can slow down and feel safe really helps amp up my creativity. I feel like I usually write from a place of discomfort, but the actual music making takes place when I feel comfortable and centered. Plus making music while the sunsets in my boat is such a vibe, there’s no place I’d rather be, except for being on tour and playing for a bunch of people.
You’re preparing to take Fifty One Fifty on your first solo tour. What do you hope audiences take away from experiencing these songs live?
DMS:I want people to have fun. I want people to witness my acceptance of myself, and I hope that it gives someone permission to accept themselves. I absolutely love performing and I am so excited about the musicians that I’m bringing along with me. I can’t wait to feel connected, expressive and totally out of my mind.
See Devon Michael Sedrick perform LIVE at Vermillion in Seattle on Sunday, September 28 and Hawthorne’s Hideaway in Portland, Oregon on October 2nd. Visit devonmichaelsedrick.com
