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Queer Betterment Professional Q & A: Dr. Selman Manuel of Washington

Name: Dr. Selman Manuel, MS, ARNP, FNP-C

Profession: Dr. Selman Manuel is a highly qualified Doctor of Nursing Practice specializing as an Advanced Practice Nurse in Family Practice. With extensive experience in the healthcare field, he also serves as an Addiction Consultant and Substance Use Disorder Specialist. Currently, Dr. Manuel is furthering his expertise by pursuing a post-doctorate certificate in Psychiatric and Mental Health Nurse Practitioner at the esteemed University of Cincinnati.

Company Affiliations: Dr. Manuel plays a pivotal role in several healthcare organizations. He is a Private Practice Consultant for DOCS Health, providing medical services through the RHRP (Reserve Health Readiness Program). As the Executive Medical Director at a Recovery Center, he leads initiatives aimed at supporting individuals struggling with addiction and substance use disorders. Additionally, he offers his expertise as an Internal Medicine Consultant at SSBH, where he collaborates with a multidisciplinary team to deliver comprehensive patient care.

In his role as a Primary Care Provider at Steneker Family Medicine, Dr. Manuel focuses on Adult and Gerontology patients, ensuring holistic care that encompasses preventative strategies, effective pain management, and medication-assisted treatment specifically designed for individuals dealing with opioid and alcohol dependence. His dedication to improving patient outcomes through compassionate care and evidence-based practices is at the core of his work.

How long have you been helping people become better?

I have dedicated my entire life to this mission, with over 20 years of professional experience. My work in the community focuses on educating children and their families about the vital importance of preventive care and the need to seek professional help for mental illness and substance abuse. My passion for this cause ignited in the Philippines, a place where mental illness is often stigmatized, causing many to shy away from seeking help for fear of rejection or humiliation.

This background has profoundly shaped my approach to helping others. When given the chance to impact someone’s life, I ensure they receive the dignity and respect they deserve. The heartbreaking realities of suicide and overdose fuel my commitment to advance my education and specialize in substance use disorder treatment. Since 2015, I have been a source of support for this vulnerable population as an Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner (ARNP) in family practice. I am now on the path to achieving my dream of becoming dual-certified as an ARNP by completing my post-doctoral certificate in psychiatric and mental health nurse practitioner at the University of Cincinnati.

Why is it important for people to focus on themselves and strive for personal growth?

As RuPaul said, “If you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else?” This means that change should start within us. If we focus on becoming our best selves every day, we project that positivity into the universe and manifest the things that are truly meant for us.

Self-love is the most important form of love and the best relationship we can cultivate with ourselves. When we love and fully embrace our authenticity, we develop a strong sense of identity, which elevates our value as individuals.

Self-love is not just about treating ourselves to gifts, nice dinners, or world travel; it is about showing self-respect by setting healthy boundaries for ourselves and with the people we surround ourselves with. Through this practice, we can build healthy and strong relationships and friendships. Nobody is perfect; we are all human and make mistakes. Our imperfections make us unique and valuable members of society. Remember, self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary for your well-being.

When we develop a sense of self-worth, we enhance our self-esteem and self-confidence. This is a powerful tool in our careers, allowing us to make an impact and inspire those under our care.

Since change is constant and inevitable, we must adapt to the various changes in our lives—whether personal or professional—as well as those in our environment, society, culture, and laws to thrive. Self-reflection is a powerful tool in this journey, allowing us to learn from our experiences and make informed decisions for our growth.

What are the top 3 things a person can do to be happier?

1. Embrace Your Uniqueness: Remember that you are one-of-a-kind, and comparing yourself to others only dilutes your individuality. Celebrate your distinct traits and talents, and focus on your personal journey of self-discovery. By understanding and valuing what makes you unique, you’ll cultivate a more profound sense of self-worth and fulfillment.

2. Set Healthy Boundaries: Protect your energy and well-being by establishing boundaries that honor your needs and values. Learning to say no when necessary allows you to prioritize self-care and maintain healthy relationships. When you respect your limits, you empower yourself to live authentically and confidently, and you show others how to respect you.

3. Be Your Most Authentic Self: Embrace who you truly are without fear of judgment. When you live authentically, you radiate confidence and strength that others can’t diminish. Surround yourself with people who appreciate the real you and encourage your growth. Remember, the more you embrace your true self, the more happiness you’ll attract.

What are the top three things a person should do to embrace a healthier life?

  1. Focus on building a positive mindset by using encouraging words and daily affirmations to boost your self-esteem. Begin each day with a positive attitude, as it’s all too easy to let negativity, unfairness, and discrimination bring us down. Remember, change starts from within ourselves and our own homes.
  2. Try not to overthink things or feel the need to control every situation, including how others behave in your friendships and relationships. If something or someone doesn’t uplift you, it’s okay to let it go. You can’t control the actions of those around you, but you can choose to step back and protect your own boundaries. It’s also essential to know how we respond to different situations.
  3. Keep your circle small and focus on building a strong foundation for your career, friendships, and relationships. Surround yourself with people who elevate you—those who celebrate your successes and inspire you to be your best self. Choose friends and family who challenge you to reach new heights and push you to excel. It’s essential to seek a mentor who has succeeded in your field or in an area you aspire to conquer. When you connect with individuals who are genuinely thrilled when you thrive and willing to support you through challenges, cherish them—they are truly invaluable.

How have you found your core values and stay true to them?

Discovering and embracing my core values has been a profoundly transformative journey, intricately woven with my identity and experiences. Growing up as a gay Filipino American, the values instilled in me by my two wonderful parents have played a crucial role in shaping who I am today. Despite facing financial difficulties, they demonstrated the power of perseverance and resilience. They taught me that determination and hard work best meet life’s challenges. This lesson in perseverance has become one of my foundational beliefs.

My parents also emphasized the importance of treating others with respect and kindness. They instilled a profound appreciation for compassion, teaching me to empathize with others and understand their struggles. This empathetic outlook has shaped my interactions with friends and family and profoundly influenced my professional choices. I see each person as unique with a story, and I strive to honor their experiences and feelings in every interaction.

Moreover, my journey of self-discovery has been pivotal in reaffirming these values. As I learned to embrace my identity as a gay individual, I realized the importance of self-acceptance and love. Accepting myself entirely has been a liberating experience, allowing me to connect with my emotions and understand my core beliefs more deeply. This process of introspection and self-discovery has empowered me to live authentically, aligning my actions and choices with the values that resonate with my true self.

These core beliefs have significantly influenced my professional pursuits. My commitment to compassion and empathy led me to pursue a career in advanced practice nursing. In this field, I have the privilege of caring for others during some of their most vulnerable moments. Each patient I encounter reminds me of the importance of treating people with dignity and respect. Achieving a terminal degree in my discipline reflects my dedication to my profession and my desire to make a meaningful impact in the lives of others.

To summarize, my core values—shaped by my upbringing, my experiences as a gay Filipino American, and my commitment to self-love and acceptance—serve as guiding lights in my life. They inspire me to continually learn about myself and the world. By remaining true to these values, I strive to empower others to embrace their authentic selves and cultivate a culture of understanding, respect, and compassion in every interaction.

From your perspective, how can someone take small steps toward improvement?

Embrace the journey of self-improvement by taking baby steps—after all, it’s all about progress, not perfection. Focus on one step at a time, allowing yourself to savor each moment and appreciate the growth. Understand that every small effort counts and it’s perfectly okay to have days when things don’t go as planned. Instead of being overly critical of yourself, offer understanding and compassion.

Start each day with a commitment to kindness, especially towards yourself. Incorporate positive self-talk or daily affirmations into your morning routine. Remind yourself of your strengths and the potential that lies within you. These little rituals can significantly elevate your spirits and reinforce a positive mindset.

Remember, self-improvement is not merely a destination to reach but a beautiful journey filled with lessons and experiences. Celebrate your victories, no matter how small, and cherish each moment on this path. By focusing on gratitude and growth, you can create a fulfilling life journey that inspires you and those around you. Stay patient, stay mindful, and enjoy the process!

What advice do you have for those who struggle to carve out time for themselves?

Life is incredibly precious, and we can never be sure of tomorrow. To build healthy relationships, it’s essential to first nurture and care for your own needs. Start by looking within yourself; when you love and prioritize yourself, that love radiates outward and positively transforms your connections with others.

Here are some concrete steps you can take to inspire change:

1. Set Boundaries: Choose a specific day or time each week as your dedicated self-care time. It could be a Saturday morning when you indulge in a favorite hobby, like painting, reading, or taking a nature walk. Treat this time as an unmissable appointment—just like a meeting or a doctor’s visit.

2. Create a Self-Care Ritual: Start each day with a morning routine that sets a positive tone. This could include 10 minutes of meditation, journaling your thoughts, or enjoying a warm cup of tea in silence. These small acts can contribute to a greater sense of peace and fulfillment.

3. Practice Saying No: It’s okay to say no to commitments that drain your energy. If a social gathering or a project at work feels overwhelming, prioritize your well-being. Saying no can open up time for activities that recharge you.

4. Engage in Physical Activity: Find joy in moving your body, whether it’s through yoga, dancing, or hiking. Physical health is intimately tied to our mental well-being, and just a short daily walk can significantly boost your mood.

5. Connect with Nature: Spend time outdoors—go for a walk in a park, sit by a lake, or tend to a garden. Nature has a powerful way of refreshing our spirits and providing clarity.

Remember, making yourself a priority is not selfish; it’s necessary. By honoring your own needs, you are paving the way for more prosperous, healthier relationships with others. Embrace this journey of self-care and watch how it enhances your overall happiness and connections with the world around you.

Improving oneself is a continuous journey that requires self-reflection and a proactive mindset. One of the most essential things I’ve learned is the importance of forgiving myself for not always being perfect. We all have moments when we stumble, and it’s easy to get caught up in self-criticism. Acknowledging that imperfection is part of being human allows me to move forward without unnecessary baggage.

I’ve also found that being kind and patient with myself is crucial. Life presents challenges that can sometimes feel overwhelming, and there will be days when I’m not at my best. It’s okay not to feel okay all the time. The key is to recognize those feelings and accept them, yet not allow myself to dwell in negativity. Instead, I focus on the end goal and remind myself of the progress I’ve made and the strides I am yet to take.

Connecting with like-minded people who share a common goal is another powerful aspect of my growth journey. Surrounding myself with individuals who inspire and uplift me creates a support community that fosters positivity and accountability. When we share our aspirations, challenges, and victories, it becomes easier to stay motivated and encouraged. Such connections provide reassurance and introduce new perspectives and ideas that can be pivotal in our individual journeys.

Personal growth is not just about striving for perfection but embracing our imperfections, being gentle with ourselves, focusing on our goals, and surrounding ourselves with supportive communities. This holistic approach fuels my passion and reminds me that I’m not alone. Each step, whether big or small, brings me closer to the person I aspire to be.

When you find yourself faltering or feeling uninspired, it’s crucial to be your own biggest supporter. Remind yourself of your strengths and past achievements. Embrace self-encouragement as a powerful tool to reignite your motivation. Take a moment to reflect on what initially inspired you and visualize your goals.

Surround yourself with positivity, whether it’s through uplifting quotes, supportive friends, or engaging in activities that bring you joy. Remember, every step forward counts, no matter how small. You have the resilience to overcome obstacles and the potential to achieve great things. Keep pushing forward—believe in yourself because you truly can do this!

Any other tips or advice for our readers about how to work on being holistically a better person?

Focusing on various aspects of self-improvement is essential to work holistically as a better person. Here are some key tips:

1. Self-reflection: Regularly assess your thoughts, actions, and motivations. Journaling can help clarify your feelings and identify areas for growth.

2. Mindfulness and mental health: Practice mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or deep breathing, to enhance emotional regulation and reduce stress.

3. Physical health: Maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and prioritize sleep to enhance overall well-being and energy levels.

4. Positive relationships: Surround yourself with supportive individuals and improve your communication skills to build stronger connections.

5. Continuous learning: Cultivate a mindset of lifelong learning. Read, take courses, or explore new hobbies to expand your knowledge and perspectives.

6. Acts of kindness: Engage in small acts of kindness regularly. Helping others can boost your mood and contribute to a sense of purpose.

7. Service and community: Get involved in your community through volunteering or local initiatives to foster a sense of belonging and purpose.

By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can work towards becoming a more well-rounded and fulfilled individual. Remember, you can do this!

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